Pretending
by marebear198483
Summary: Janet and Eddie keep pretending that they do not care about each other but finally they discuss what happened
1. Chapter 1

Don't own these characters, they are from October Roads (Love the show) and the song is from Glee. Its called Pretending, and can be found on ITUNES

Janet walked into Sulley's bar, knowing tonight was Karaoke night, a night she did not look forward to. However, she was trying to be strong and not think about the one thing that was on her mind.

Eddie.

She knew that while she was the one that messed up the relationship, she couldn't help but think that he messed up too. He should have told her about Rory but he did not. They did not speak to each other, except a "hello" or "how are you". He had not been to Sully's in awhile, and if he had been she had not seen him. But at this point she told herself that she need to be strong and not worry about him anymore.

She started working and before long it was about 8 o'clock. She was running around not noticing that Eddie had walked in. He walked over to his friends and started drinking his beer they had gotten him. Owen tried to talk to him but he was looking at her. She looked differently he thought. She was tired, and she has lost weight. She just looked sad, and he wanted to make her happy but part of his heart was still broken from what she had done. He knew that one day they would have to sit down and talk about everything but he was scared. He did not want to get hurt even more but he knew deep down that they would have to talk about it.

"Eddie"

"What O?"

"You ok? Seems I losted you" Owen looked at Eddie and before Eddie said anything Owen started

"I know this hard, but what you and Janet have is something special, you can't pretend to tell me that you don't feel anything for her. Talk to her, Eddie you can't just sit here looking at her all the time" Owen said getting up and going over to the bar.

"Hey Janet" Owen said sitting at the bar

"Hey Owen, what can I get you?

" To talk to Eddie, that is what I want" Owen said as he looked at Janet

"I…." Janet started but stopped when she saw Eddie, he was watching her and Owen. He did not look happy in fact he looked mad. She was not sure what he was thinking and really did not want to cause him or anyone else trouble.

"Eddie told me, Janet look we all make mistakes. And hell Janet, when Alison was with Ikey it killed me, but somehow I got through it and Alison and I are getting stronger than before."

"Owen, I would give anything to talk to him but I don't think I can do it. I don't think there is much hope"

"Janet, don't give up hope not yet anyways. There is always a chance."

Owen left her to think about what he had said. _Maybe there is a chance _she thought. She did not She was ready to go home, and take a nice hot bath but the bath would have to wait. While she was tending the bar, a couple start singing, she did not know what the song was but started to listen to the words of the song.

Face to face and heart to heart  
>We're so close yet so far apart<br>I close my eyes I look away  
>That's just because I'm not okay<br>But I hold on I stay strong  
>Wondering if we still belong<p>

Will we ever say the words we're feeling  
>Deep down underneath it<br>Tear down all the walls  
>Will we ever have a happy ending<br>Or will we forever only be pretending  
>We will always be pretending<p>

She stopped what she was doing and just stared at the bottle she was holding. She wanted to stop pretending that everything was ok. She was ready to face Eddie and deal with whatever he had to say. She wanted to move on but she wanted to move on with Eddie. Knowing that, made her sad and a tear rolled down her cheek as the song continued playing. Sully tapped her shoulder, and whispered "You need a few minutes?" Janet simply nodded her head. She walked back out the door to the loading docks and sat down thinking about everything.

How long do I fantasize  
>Make believe that it's still alive<br>Imagine that I am good enough  
>If we can choose the ones we love<br>But I hold on I stay strong  
>Wondering if we still belong<p>

Will we ever say the words we're feeling  
>Deep down underneath it<br>Tear down all the walls  
>Will we ever have a happy ending<br>Or will we forever only be pretending

Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be keeping secrets safe  
>Every move we make<br>Seems like nowhere's safe to go  
>And it's such a shame<br>Cuz if you feel the same  
>How am I supposed to know<p>

Eddie saw Janet and stared at her. She was looking down at the bottle she had in her hands and she seemed upset. He listened to the song, and release that he needed to talk to Janet. He was tired of pretending that he hated her, and was ready to make things better. He saw what looked to be a tear coming down her cheek and then Sully whisper in her ear. And then she walked back to the docks. He looked at Owen and got up to follow Janet.

When he found her, his heart broke, she was sitting down with her head in her hands crying. He hated when she cried but he did not know what to do. He sat down beside her and whisper

"I hate it when you cry"

Janet looked at him not knowing what to say but got the courage to speak from her heart.

"I am tired of pretending that I don't care about you. I am tired of hating myself for being stupid. I hate myself for pushing you away and trying to get even with you. I hate that Rory showed up and you kick me to the curb. I hate that I was not the most important thing to you. Most of all I hate that I love you"

Eddie looked at her, in shock; he knew he had heard her. She loved him. She was in love with him and he did not know what to do. He was scared and did not what to hurt either of them but before he thought about it he said

"I love you too."

They sat in silence not knowing what else to say. She wanted him to take her home and make love to her but she knew that would not happen. Janet looked at Eddied and asked

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you love me?"

"You know when I am laying in my bed thinking about how much you hurt me, I get so mad then I see something you did for me. Like when you came over and helped me clean out my closet, or I walked into my bathroom and see your shampoo or your soap. Then I start thinking about all of our good times together. When you walked into Best Friend Windows and told me we would be watching _On The Waterfront_. Or when I roll over in bed wishing I could hold you. I miss your smell, you touch, your kisses, and most of all you, and our friendship. I have never date a woman where I could sit and tell her my secrets or talk about something stupid. You're her, but then I start to think about what happen with Rooster and I get so mad"

"I miss you, coming into the bar and sitting with me. I miss riding in your truck and being with you. But most of all I just miss my Eddie"

Eddie looked at Janet confused by what she meant.

"You know my Eddie, the one who punched a guy for calling me names or say shit about me. The Eddie who drives more than an hour to get the best veal scaloppini in the state. The man who sat through the play _Bye Bye Birdie_ knowing he would hate it but went any way. The man who kissed me in the bar the night before homecoming."

"So what happens now?"

"We start over, one day at a time, we both love each other. But we need to talk about everything that bothers us in the relationship. Why I was so stupid with Rory and why you went to Roster. Do you want to do that?"

Janet nodded her head, she was scared of getting hurt and hurting him but she knew he was worth the risk. Eddie put his arms around her, and whispered in her ear

"Don't forget that I love you"

Janet looked up with tears in her eyes as he leaned down and kissed her. I was a short sweet kiss that made Janet feel safe and loved.

They both pulled always smiling for the first time in months.

Will we ever say the words we're feeling  
>Deep down underneath it<br>Tear down all the walls  
>Will we ever have a happy ending<br>Or will we forever only be pretending  
>Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be pretending<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reading this. I made this all up, don't own the characters but I do enjoy writing about them! Let me know what you think!

Janet went home after their talk happy for the first time in a long time. She was thankful to Ikey for staying back with her and walking her to her car. Ikey told Janet that even though things were messed up with the guys, he wanted them to know how much he cared about them. With Eddie getting hurt, Ikey felt like he should step up and be there for Janet. Ikey had no clue about what Eddie and Janet had been through, but was still there for Janet when she worked the late shift at Sully's.

She knew she would not be able to sleep much since she was so excited about everything that had happened. She grabbed of Eddie's old t-shirt and a pair of shorts putting them on and grabbing a movie to watch. She was confused when she heard the door bell ring, it was a little bit after two in the morning. She looked through the peep hole to find Eddie standing there.

"Hi" Janet said looking at Eddie. Eddie looked at her and realized that the shirt she had on was one of his and that made him smile.

"I could not sleep"

"Come on in, you want to watch a movie with me?" Janet said letting Eddie in to the house for the first time in months. Eddie sat down and looked at her. Janet did not know what he was thinking but figured it was something serious. Janet sat down next to her as he began talking.

"I have been having nightmares about my attack, and I have not been sleeping well."

"Really, do you want to talk about it?" She asked knowing that maybe that would help him

"The dreams are different but the same thing happens over and over again. I see the attack and sometimes I feels so real. I can see their faces, but there is one thing different from what happened" Eddie said with tears in his eyes

"What is it"

"The person getting attacked was you, the first time it happened I woke up crying because I thought I lost you. So I got in my truck and drove over to Sully's. It was a night you had not left Sully's so I wait for an hour just to see you were ok. Then I followed you home, and watched you go inside. I wanted so bad to hold you and have you tell me everything was going to be ok. And to be honest, it scared me how upset I was over a simple dream"

Janet sat there listening to him, not knowing what to say or do. She held his hand and kissed it softly. This was one side of Eddie Latekka that she had not seen in a while. He looked like a small child scared of the dark but this was so different. All Janet wanted to do was make things better and help him but she honestly did not know how to.

"I am ok, Sully has been watching over me like a hawk and Ikey has been staying with me at night some when I work the late shift. He said that staying with me and talking was one way he felt like he could do for you. He misses you. There were a couple of nights when Ikey could not stay with me so Sully stayed behind and made sure I got home ok. Ikey makes me call him when I get home, I started calling him Dad but he has become like a bother to me. But I am really ok and not really bad has happened to me since the attack, other than me messing things up. I am really sorry you have had those dreams, have you talk to someone about them?"

"Yes, I called my doctor and he made me come in. He said that since I was hurt so badly that dreams help to relive some of the pain and helps the person to heal. I told him that I was dreaming about someone else getting attack and not me. When I told him it was you, he said that it was normal to dream about the person we loved the most getting hurt. That it helps us understand how bad the attack was. That we have to see how bad it happened to the person we love the most"

Janet got up and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing two beers, she sat down next to him.

"I thought you could use it, well I needed it myself. I am sorry you are having these dreams about me. What can I do?" Janet said

"Just be there for me" Eddie said as he drank his beer. They sat like this for awhile, she was getting tired but did not want to kick him out. He looked at her knowing she was tired He did not want to leave but she need her sleep more that he did. Eddie wondered if she would let him sleep next to her.

"Come on lets go to bed" Eddie stood up helping her up on the bed. He walked into her bed room for the first time since everything had happened. Everything was different, the walls were painted a light brown color and even the dresser was painted different. The bedding was blue and brown to match the wall color.

"I got a new bed, I just could not sleep in here in that bed." Janet saying not knowing he already knew she got a new bed.

"Nicky told me about the bed. He told me that you had gotten a new bed and stuff but I guess he did not know about the paint." Eddie started taking off his cloths. Finally getting down to his boxers climbed in to bed and looked at her.

"Hannah helped me with the bed and the girly stuff. I asked Nick if he would help me get the new bed moved in." As she got in the bed, she felt good knowing he would be sleeping next to her. She turned off the light and laid not knowing what to do. He put his arm around her and whispered in her ear

"I love you"

"I love you too Eddie"

Janet closed her eyes hoping that both of them could get some sleep. Eddie laid with Janet knowing that they had a lot to work on but also feeling hopefully for the future.


	3. Chapter 3

Don't own Eddie or Janet, but I do love October Road!

Surprisingly Eddie woke without having a nightmare. He rolled over to an empty bed but the smell of eggs and beacon let him know where Janet was. He got up, went to the bathroom to find where she was. He love her smell, but more importantly he loved the way she made him feel. He felt at home and safe but he wanted to forget what she had done. He could not understand why she did what she did and that made him mad. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to help calm him down.

Walking into the kitchen he saw her listen to her IPod and dancing around the kitchen. He loved watching her dance around, she did not like when he did that but for some reason she loved his smirk or grin. Eddie was brought back to reality when he heard her scream

"Eddie you scared me, why do you have to watch me?" Janet asked shaking her head when he laughed

"You know it's cute when you dance around and twirl" Eddie said with his smirk that Janet loved and often saw. His smirk got him a lot of things with the women. Eddie knew Janet would never fall for the smirk, but little did Eddie know that smirk drove Janet crazy and often dreamed about it.

Janet blushed as she walked over to get the food off of the counter.

"I made us some breakfast, you don't have to eat it but I thought it was be nice." She said setting the table. Eddie looked at the table and thought about all the times they would sit and eat together. Most of the time they were laughing at each other or something the other said. But today was different, he knew they were going to have to discuss everything that went on but he really did not want to do that, he wanted everything to go back to normal. He was not ready to deal with the pain of her cheating. Part of him still hurt at what she did. She on the other hand wanted to talk about his cheating. She was afraid to bring it up but she knew in her heart that she needed to know Why. Why he kissed her, why he did not tell her she was in ton, why he did not call, why she wasn't the first thing on his mind. All of those answers scared her but she knew she need answers, the only answers he could give.

"Janet this is really good, I swear you should open your own shop" Eddie said eating, the way Eddie ate left little to be desired but she could not help it, she really did love him and his crappy eating habits.

"Thanks, I love having people to cook for, Hannah and Sam would come over and I would get to cook for them. Sam loves my tomato soup." Eddie nodded thinking about Christmas when they cleaned the roads. As he ate his breakfast, he watched her read the paper. He was so in love with her but he still had anger with her about what she had done.

They both headed to the kitchen where she washed the dishes and gave them to Eddie to dry. They went into the living room and sat down. Janet hands were sweating and she was nervous but in her heart this would be the only way they could move on

"So." They both said at the same time, Janet laughed

Janet suggested that they each could ask a question then let the other respond.

"Why didn't you tell me she was here in town that day" Janet asked

"I wish I had a good answer but I don't, When she came into the store that was the first time I had seen her in a long time. It was so different talking to her but yet it was so familiar like I was that old Eddie again. Part of me was scared that I was losing that old self. But after thinking about it, I realized that I am not the old Eddie any more. The fact is that I don't know what I was thinking really. That's the best I can come up with, but when we kissed. It was horrible, there was not the feeling I get when I kiss you."

Janet shook her head, she was listening but it was hard to hear all of that. She opened her mouth to say something but she closed it

"Janet say it, we need to do this"

"Who do you want to be Hail Eddie or just the Eddie that I have come to know and love?"

"I thought a lot about that when I was in the hospital, I am not Hail Eddie anymore. And that scared me, but the part that scared me more was the fact that we weren't together anymore. You where the one that made me a better person but part of me was always afraid of hurting you"

"Well you did"

"How"

"First, you did not tell me she was here, second you kissed her."

"Then you went to Rooster" Eddie said]

"Yep, I needed someone, I could not call Hannah. So I called Rooster. He came over with alcohol. I got so drunk I don't remember much other than waking up naked with him. I kicked him out and got sick. Really sick. I felt so bad, then Nick called. I could have lied to you but I did not."

Eddie sat looking at her. He got up and went into the bedroom. And sat down in the floor, she followed him and found him setting at the end of the bed in the floor.

"Janet I am so mad right now. I know I messed up but how could you do that to me. I love you more than anything and you do this. I just don't know if love is enough"

Janet watched as he got up left the room, she then heard the front door shut. She sat in the floor wondering if their love was enough to save their relationship. She began to cry but told herself that she did not need to cry anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been 3 days, 3 long days since he walked on the door. Janet did not know what was going on with him or where he was or even if he was ok. Ikey walked into Sully's noticing Janet looking, well less than Janet. She look tired and just sad.

"What goes on, J" Ikey said sitting down at the bar

"Same old shit just a different day" Janet grabbing a bottle of Ikey favorite beer. She wanted to ask but was afraid to

"Go ahead"

"What"

"Ask, you know you want to" Ikey said grinning

"How is he?"

"Well, all we know is that he stayed at your house the other night and came home pissed off. Then he said he was going to his family cabin, Phil said he called to check in and to let everyone know he was ok, but I don't think he is. Nicky went up there today and is hopefully going to talk to him"

"We had a fight"

"Yes I figured that"

"Ikey, I love him but I cheated on him and hurt him. But he cheated too. I just don't know how we are going to get passed this"

"J, if there is one thing I know about Eddie is that sometimes he needs to find things out for himself. You know, he has had to go away several times to get away from things to deal with stuff"

"I just wish he would talk to me"

"He will give him time, think of it this way, if he did not care and love you do you think he would take time to get through all of his crap. Granted yes he went off not telling you but least he is trying" Ikey said

"I guess your right"

Meanwhile, Nick had finally got up to the cabin were Eddie was. Nick got out of his truck and walked up the door.

"Eddie" Nick yelled not knowing where he was

"What" Eddie yelled from the kitchen, what most people did not know is that Janet had taught him who to cook basic foods. He was not the best at it but he could hold his own. Nick walked up to tomato soup and chicken breast.

"I did not know you could cook" Nick stated.

"Yeah well don't let it get out"

"You want to talk about why you left the other day"

"I needed to clear my head out and figure out what I want" Eddie said grabbing two bowls and two plates for him and Nick. He sat the soup and chicken down and started to eat. Nick sat down looking at his food but instead of eating asked

"Eddie have you figure out what you want"

"I don't know, one minute I ache for her I just need her and then a few minutes later I get angry all over again. I have not dealt with what she did but hell Nicky I just want grab her and kiss her.

Nick wait, thinking about what to say. Nick had talked to Janet about it and hoped he could help. The one thing he knew was that Janet changed Eddie for the better but he was afraid that even their feelings for each other could not help them.

"You know Eddie, Janet had to go through a lot when you all started dating. She was not the type of girl you usually date and the looks people gave her hurt her. After sometime things fell right into place for you guys, everything seemed to go well for you guys. You were the typical Knight's Ridge couple. But one day things fell apart, Rory came into Sully's saying she thought you were sad looking and crap. That hurt Janet, then you did not tell her Rory was in town. All her insecurities came right back and then to top it all off, she drives by and low and behold what did she find, You kissing Rory. She was devastated, granted she did not deal with it well. But she told me that she went to Roster because she needed someone. It makes me think of when Hannah went to you that night, ten years ago."

Eddie sat there not knowing what to say, he did not know that Nick knew. That night they bother were drunk, really drunk. He does not remember much of it other than waking up naked and next to her. They both dealt with it years ago but had never talked to Nick about it

"How long have you known?"

"For little while, word gets around easily in this small town. Eddie you were the Rooster in this situation. Hannah came to you and both of you were drunk. It's the same thing. It took sometime but I knew I had to forgive you and Hannah. Eddie you have to figure out if you can forgive her and move on or not forgive her and be miserable."

Nick watched Eddie not knowing what was going through his mind. Eddie was thinking about everything Nick had said. He finally realized how much of a hypocrite he was. He messed up and knew that. Janet broke his heart but helped Hannah break Nick's heart.

"I don't know how to do it, you know forgive her" Eddie told Nick

"You need to fall in love with her all over again, trust her give, her time to deal with your issues too. You need to get everything out in the open, let her tell you everything. Make her tell you all the issues and problems in the relationship. I think that maybe you should ask her to come up her and you guys talk about everything. But you don't need to have sex with her"

Eddie looked at him, he wanted her so bad, and he had not had sex with anyone since the night before the attack. While he hated to say it he knew Nick was right but he wanted and craved sex with her. Sex with Janet was always different not because of the way she look but the fact that he loved her and wanted to make her feel good. Sex would not answer any of their problems although it would be fun he knew in his heart that when they got all of their issues dealt with that when they made love again would be something special.

"Eddie you know you can't have sex with her right" Nick said looking at his friend,

"Yes I know, how is the business, can I stay a few more days?"

"Everything is good, Ikey has been helping me and so we are not so off, why don't you call Janet and see if she can come up here tomorrow. I will go get her and bring her up here."

"Ok, that sounds good"

Eddie walked over grabbing his phone and called her. Not knowing if she would answer and not really know what he would say, he paced back and forth looking at the window.

"Hello"

"Hi"

"How are you Eddie?"

"I am ok, I um was wondering if you would be able to come up to my family's cabin for few days to talk about stuff"

"Yes I can do that um can you give me directions"

"Nick is going to pick you up tomorrow around noon is that ok"

"Yes, that sounds good, I better go see if I can talk Sully into it"

Eddie laughed "Janet you can get Sully to do anything, you should know that by now"

"Yes but I try not to use it too often."

"Well I better go but I will see you tomorrow."

"OK bye Eddie"

Eddie closed his phone knowing that tomorrow would either be the start of their relationship again or it would be ending of the best thing that has happened to him. Knowing that fact scared him, but he hoped that they could work things out and start over.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for reviewing! Again, I don't own any of the characters in the story I just love them!

Janet and Nick rode in silence, Janet was nervous about this weekend. Nick had not told her much about what was going on. And she had not spoken to Eddie other than him calling her to ask her about coming up there. Not knowing if they were close or not, Janet become antsy. What scared her was the fact that she could not get away, she and Eddie had to face their demons and deal with all the crap in their relationship. Giving that she would have to ride by to Knight Ridge with Eddie, she just hoped he did not get pissed off and leave.

"You ok?" Nick asked glancing over at her.

"Not really"

"You don't need to be worried"

"What does he want?"

"Man I don't know, I think he wants you all to talk. I told him that the both of you need to talk about everything. Janet you need to tell him all the insecurities you have about the relationship. I told him that he needs to tell you everything he was feeling and his issues. Janet if you truly love him you will want to do this and work it out. Can you give him that?"

Janet look at Nick, "Yes I want to, it's just that its going to be hard."

"Don't they say the hardest things are worth fight for?"

"Yes"

Janet sat there scared and honestly wanted to cry but she had to be strong. She heard Nick laugh

"What?"

"Well, I told Eddie that he did not need to have sex with you. That you guys should work everything out before you guys did and well the look on his face was priceless"

Janet giggled at the thought of Eddie not having sex. Janet wanted Eddie more than to be close to him but she knew they had a lot of issues to work on. Maybe one day they will get that close again but for now, she would accept the fact that Nick was right.

Nick pulled into a gravel road that seemed to last forever. But at the top of the hill stood what Janet thought was the most beautiful home she had ever seen. It was built like a cabin with a porch that ran across it. She saw Eddie walk out the door barefoot and he seemed to be glad to see her. though she was not sure. But she knew she was happy to see him. Nick look at Janet and asked if she was ready to do this

"I guess, I am scared" Janet said trying not to cry

"It will be ok, just remember you can't lie to him, tell him everything, every little thing that pissed you off and everything that made you happy. Be honest, you both need each other but somewhere things just got a little bit messed up but you can do this. If you love him you will" Nick said squeezing her hand "Come on, don't want to keep him waiting"

Eddie watched as she got out of the car, something made his heart beat faster and his hands sweat. Could it be that he was nervous to be around her, if he was honest with himself he would admit he was nervous. He knew in his heart that she loved him and he loved her but could they get passed all the issues in their relationship?

"Hey babe, how was trip?" Eddie asked grabbing her bags, while Nick grabbed the grocery bags of food.

"It was good, I really like it up here, so beautiful, thanks for inviting me up here" Janet said as he ushered her into the kitchen. What surprised Janet was the fact that she smelled what she thought was chicken but she was not sure. Eddie had Nick call him when they had left. He made Janet's favorite; well he tried to make Chicken enchiladas.

"Ok I am getting ready to leave, I put the food in here, and I think Janet you got everything. Remember what I said to the both of you. I will see you guys when you get to the Ridge." Nick said not bothering to let them respond.

"Are you hungry?" Eddie asked Janet,

"Yes, did you cook?"

"I did, I made Chicken Enchiladas for you, I hope I did them as good as you always do" Eddie said not wanting to upset her but really wanted her to know how much he cared about her.

"Eddie you did not have to do all of this,"

"I wanted to, I thought we could eat and then talk some"

"I think that is a good idea"

They both ate and made small talk with each other. Eddie wanting to know how the food was and Janet did not care how it tasted she was just glad to be across from him. After they ate he grabbed a bottle of Janet's favorite wine and poured both of them a glass. Eddie hated it but he would drink it for her.

"Why did you need to come up her by yourself?" Janet wanted to know, more than anything she wished he would have stayed and talked to her

"I needed to get away and clear my head. I needed a few days away from the Ridge to really think about what I want" Eddie said

"What is it that you want?" Janet was scared to ask it but she needed to know.

"Well, you're here and that says a lot. I would not have asked you to come up here and us try to work on us if I did not love you and if I did not see a future with you" Eddie looked at Janet as a tear rolled down her cheek, he rubbed the tear away with his thumb.

"There is something else you should know" Eddie began saying "Nick said you went through a lot when we started dating, what did he mean by that?"

"When you asked me if I want to go out I was confused, Eddie Latekka was asking me out. I asked Hannah why you would want to date me and I just did not understand it. I was not like all the other girls you went out with and I like to think that I am smart then most of them" Janet said grinning at him

"Well you are"

"Thanks, but the comments that people would make about us and then looks really hurt. I would over hear things that were horrible and it was hard to date you then that day you went to get Owen back. Eddie I could not believe it, here I was in the middle of Sully's kissing you, something that I never thought I would get to do. I was scared of getting naked in front of you."

"J you walked into the store that day demanding we watch _On The Waterfront_, granted when I figure out what you meant I was so turned on. It was so hot that you would want to do that with me. You did not seem to be scared when we finally did it"

"Why did you want to wait so long"

"Don't get mad or pissed, ok. All the other girls I date, I would sleep with them and leave. I would get up before they got up and leave. It was a natural response, sleep with them and leave them in the morning. I did not want to do that, I was afraid I would leave. And I honestly did not want to leave you, I did not know when we were going to break up. I honestly thought we would have a future"

Janet did not know what to think, she always thought he was scared to have sex with her because of the way she looked. But what he just said made her think, he did not know when they would break up, she tried not to let her mind wonder, but the question that she thought about was would they get married one day?


	6. Chapter 6

It had gotten late, Janet and Eddie knew they needed to go to bed. Janet told Eddie that she better sleep in the guest bedroom, while he did not like that he told her that was ok. Janet laid there in bed tossing and turning never going to sleep. She decided to get up and read a book. She had grabbed a couple of books in hopes that if something bad happened she could read and not worry about it. While Janet was reading her book, she did not notice that Eddie had woken up to find the lights on.

"What are you doing up"

"I could not sleep so I got up to read, did I wake you up?"

"No I had a nightmare, so I got up"

"I am so sorry, do you want to talk about it"

"Not right now,"

Eddie walked over to couch she was sitting at and sat down next to her. He put his arm around her and she leaned in laying her head on his shoulder.

"Can I ask you something?" Janet was afraid to ask but was curious

"You know Nick told me that I should tell you everything that bothered me during our relationship, well Eddie why did you kiss my forehead that night we went out? Was it a date or not a date. I mean I wanted nothing more than to kiss you but I got it on the forehead" Janet said quickly wanting to know the answer but scared of his response.

"I wanted to do things differently with you. You weren't like other girls, you were actually a one of my closest friends and as much as I wanted to take you to bed that night, I was scared that if I kissed you that I would never stop kissing you that night"

It hit Janet that Eddie was thinking one thing in the relationship while Janet was thinking another. She looked at the clock and decided that they both needed sleep. When she got up she walked up to his room and he looked at her.

"Come on Eddie, we are both adults here and I just would like to be close to you" Janet said

Eddie took her hand and they walked into the bedroom. She was amazed at the size of the bed, it was huge. She knew that even if they both agreed to stay on their side of the bed that they would end up together holding on to each other. Janet got in the bed and rolled up close to him. Eddie then draped his arm around her and his head was in the crook of her neck.

"Good night baby"

"Night"

"J"

"Yeah"

"I love you"

"I know, I love you too"

They fell asleep with a smile on their face and a desire in their heart but for now they would have to keep that desire at bay and focus on restoring the relationship.

Janet woke up feeling refreshed and just happy. She look at her watch, seeing that it was eight in the morning, she got up and went into the kitchen. Hoping to find what she was looking for, she start to wonder around the kitchen hoping and praying that she would find everything she needed. She wanted to make him a nice breakfast. Breakfast was her favorite part of the day. When Eddie would stay at the house she would cook for him, they would sit together talking about what they had to do. Eggs, bacon and toast were Eddie's favorite. She was running around getting everything done. When she was happy with everything she had done, she found a tray that she carried both plates in to the room.

Eddie woke up smelling the food and grinning when he saw Janet walk back into the room. He love the way she looked in the morning. Her hair was not perfect and it was everywhere, she hadn't put on makeup, he loved the way she looked when she woke up.

"Morning, did you sleep well?" Janet asked setting the plate of food down. She noticed that Eddie just look at her and did not say anything.

"Eddie, hey you there"

"Yes, you just look beautiful this morning." Janet blushed as he said that, she hated the way that she looked in the mornings. She blushed and turned away, going back into the kitchen to get his coffee and her juice. She walked back into the room seeing Eddie smiling at her

"You did not have to do this"

"Yes but I wanted to, I always enjoyed cooking for you" Janet said moving in closer to Eddie.

They both started to eat their breakfast both wondering what was in store for them. He knew they needed to talk about stuff and she just wanted to be with him. She did not care if they got into an argument, or if they even stop talking to each other, she just liked the fact she was with him

Janet loved the fact that they stayed in bed watching moving until noon. She had not done that in a long time but she knew they had more issues to deal with. Eddie looked at Janet asking something that he wanted and needed to know.

"When did you realize that he was in love with you?"

"I honestly don't know, part of me guess there could be a chance but I always thought I was not good enough for anyone, so thinking that anyone could want me was a crazy idea"

Eddie sat there looking at her, wish she could see herself the way he did

"The way he acted after that night made me so mad, he thought we were together, you know a couple. It made me sick they way he acted, then I got a phone call the phone call from Nick" Janet stated looking at Eddie, the angry look in his eyes was gone and they were now filled with hurt.

"He told me the other day that he hates me and he told me that I could go to hell, I told him the feeling was mutual and that I would join him someday." Eddie laughed at the way she rolled her eyes.

"Janet I know you love me, and I know I hurt you and you hurt me. What I need to know is what you want from me, you know how you feel"

"Eddie when yo asked me out I really thought that you had run out of thin girls to sleep with, I never in my wildest dreams thought you would come to love me or even kiss me. I figured that night at Hugo's that it was a one date thing, the whole party at Alison's I knew it was over. But that day you left to go get Owen, It was one of the happiest days of my life. Everything you said to me that day really made me feel wanted and loved. I want my Eddie, not Hail Eddie, not Rory's Ex, not the guy who slept with Hannah years ago. I need him and want him so much. But can you let go of Hail Eddie and Rory's Ex?"

Janet was scared of his answer. She did not know what he was thinking or if he thought she was crazy but he wanted to know what she wanted. After a few minutes of silence, Janet got up to go to her room, Eddie whisper "don't leave"

Janet looked at him, he had tears running down his face and he looked scared.

"I am scared, what if I can't be that Eddie, what if I hurt you again" She looked at him, and walked over to where he was sitting. She grabbed his hands and sat down in his lap. For the first time, she was not thinking about her weight while sitting in his lap

"Baby, I honestly think we have hurt each other enough for one lifetime. You don't have to try to be my Eddie, you just are. Hail Eddie was a man who did not care about women and only wanted one thing. But somehow you changed, you seemed so happy when we were together. Granted Rory coming back did not help us but babe do you want to be that Eddie or do you want to be my Eddie"

"Janet I am so scared, to hurt you but most of all I am so scared at how much I need you. These last few months have been hell. I never realized how much I needed someone until you were gone. Baby, I never realized what you did and why you did it until you told me what you had done. I wanted to run to someone and have then make all the pain go away, but lucky for you I was in the hospital and well I looked like shit"

Janet looked at him, thinking about everything he had said. She never realized how much he cared until now. She sat there looking at him when he spoke

"Can't be hail Eddie, I want to go back to being Janet Meadows' man, Please will you let me do that?"

"Yes, I need you more than anything, I want to be Eddie Latekka's girl"

Eddie smiled at Janet, then leaned in to kiss her. She loved the way his lips took over hers and knew that even thought they weren't perfect, that maybe things would work out for both of them.


End file.
